


Careless Whisper

by Laviente



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Dancing, Introspection, M/M, Seperation, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 17:37:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15801375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laviente/pseuds/Laviente
Summary: Kurapika finds himself dancing alone.This is a birthday gift for the beautiful Piyo-Nii!





	Careless Whisper

**Author's Note:**

  * For [piyo_nii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/piyo_nii/gifts).



> I come bearing yet another songfic. This one was inspired after hearing an old song on the radio while I was at work one day. I felt this song was perfect for an idea I already had when I began the composition for this and well, here you go!
> 
> This is a birthday gift for the fantastic Piyo-Nii who has been such an amazing friend! I hope you like this! 
> 
> Best if read while listening to the song it's based **[off of](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpqmoBYkQfc)**.

_Your smile, it enlivens me and gives me vigor. There is so much about you that I love and more. How I could have ever given that up, I may never know. One thing is certain, without you I cannot hold on, anymore. To live without you is nevermore._

 

A pulse raced through his veins, it was almost like a foreshadowing of what was to come. Slowly everything changed. Even as the expanse of the day had long since bled into the reaches of night,  the light was driven away as it only led into the embrace of shadow. Yet, he continued on.

 

The breeze swept through the canopy of trees, rustling the leaves that had long since changed their color from the sharp, healthy green to the vibrancy of reds, oranges and yellows, a sign that Autumn had already reached the land with its seasonal touch. Even then, looking upon it only added to the magnificent scene, even while the echo of music continued to waft through the surrounding foliage.

 

 _I feel so unsure_  
_As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor_  
_As the music dies, something in your eyes_  
_Calls to mind the silver screen_ _  
And all its sad good-byes_

 

Lights flickered and twitched as candles dared challenge the wind, their soft luminance being cast over the serene moment, causing dilatant shadows to extend over the area. A sole figure swayed in near elegance to the thrumming of the song, almost motioning in near perfect unison with it. Each step was towards another moment in time where desire kept him locked within that everlasting dance, each minute seeming to tick towards an eternity.

 

Washes of crimson and gold had accented the porcelain hue of his skin as his next step brought him into the purview of the candle light, eyes appearing to glow from its sensual reflection.

 

It was ethereal, almost imaginary, and the feeling of rapture from a now forlorn memory nearly besieged by the cruel hands of time, even then it was hard in letting go.

 

 _… I'm never gonna dance again_  
_Guilty feet have got no rhythm_  
_Though it's easy to pretend_ _  
I know you're not a fool_

But he motioned on, feet drifting across the ground as if he was being guided, as if something was holding his hand and taking the lead. Each new step was another that made him permissive, and nearly forget that he was alone. Only the images of the one who he had ever come to love was the final reason he continued dance.

 

His heart began to slow its beat, and his body flowed sinuously to the rhythmic pull, the melody of something important, something special coaxing him on. Even as Kurapika closed his eyes and felt the warmth in his hand along his hip, and the memory of those escrolling grey eyes he adored so much, it never stopped him, never kept him from reaching for the impossible.

 

Time really was cruel.

 

 _… Should've known better than to cheat a friend_  
_And waste the chance that I've been given_  
_So I'm never gonna dance again_ _  
The way I danced with you_

However, such was gone and long eviscerated from his life. As much as he hated it, as much as his heart ached, his mind craved, he would continue this promenade on his own. Even with the desire of silent wishes, Kurapika could only hope. Only hope and believe. But he never dared  lose faith that one day, one sweet day he would not have to taste the bitter flavor of loneliness anymore.

 

So he continued on. Every day a new challenge, and with the rising of the sun and setting of the moon, the solitary Kurta motioned on, perpetuating within the dance he and Chrollo had started long ago.

 

 _… Time can never mend_  
_The careless whispers of a good friend_  
_To the heart and mind_  
_Ignorance is kind_  
_There's no comfort in the truth_

_Pain is all you'll find_

 

However he managed, however he survived, it was something within his wild thumping heart and desperate mind that spoke the answer. For despite all the pain, the sorrow and his lament, there was always that lingering reason, a constant reminder. Even now as his body harmonized with the gentle calling of the song, the very one that tied him to Chrollo, and bound them together, Kurapika found the will to carry on.

 

For so long he wallowed in misery and grief. Constantly torn and haunted for how things ended as they did and why he and Chrollo were now but a shadow of a memory. Never had Kurapika envisioned being like this, being solo, and that he would be his own dance partner. But now it was all he could do to keep from crashing down.

 

 _… I'm never gonna dance again_  
_Guilty feet have got no rhythm_  
_Though it's easy to pretend_ _  
I know you're not a fool_

 

His body shifted to the music, motioning fluidly to the beat of its tune, and to the sound of his own heart thumping. Each time he placed his feet upon the sodden ground, it was just like he and Chrollo used to do. The way he felt guided, like something was pulling him into motion of undulation, and how the sensation of someone holding him felt so real, so _tangible,_ Kurapika started to wonder it he had never really been alone.

 

But even as he continued to follow to the steady tempo of the music, and the gentle flicker of the candles as they cast their supernatural grace over the scene, it was then Kurapika realized he was still dancing on his own. Only one shadow was being projected during his elegant performance, which only served as a indication that no one else was there with him.

 

 _I should've known better than to cheat a friend_  
_And waste the chance that I've been given_  
_So I'm never gonna dance again_ _  
The way I danced with you_

_Never without your love_

 

There were so many unanswered questions and so much he didn’t understand that it had him feeling shaken and perturbed, along with many countless nights constantly wondering _why._ Yet, there was no response in coming and no closure, for Kurapika was left feeling abandoned and with only hollow memories. All he was able to do was keep going forward, to keep on living and never stop dancing. For it was all Kurta had to remind him of what he had. Of what he and Chrollo had shared.

 

Chrollo…

 

The name was like an euphony to his ears and honey to his lips. Even the man's voice was utter perfection with just the words he would say. There wasn’t anything about Chrollo who he had come to know and love that ever caused Kurapika to regret the decisions that he made or wish to erase the history they had once forged.

 

Except for one.

 

 _Tonight the music seems so loud_  
_I wish that we could lose this crowd_  
_Maybe it's better this way_ _  
We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say_

 

That day was vivid as ever, down to the warmth of the sun as it washed over his visage. He remembered it like it was yesterday. The way Chrollo had looked at him when Kurapika had spoken the truth of his feelings. How he said the one thing he shouldn’t have and the shock which crawled over those strong features, it made his own heart nearly sink within his chest.

 

Even those lips that were so firm, so pliable which had left its own imprint upon his mind from all their passionate, loving kisses had only mouthed the three words Kurapika now wished he would have never heard.

 

It was all because of his own imprudence. Because he had thrown away his one chance at something good for the sake of wanting to fulfill the only thing which had brought him nothing but misery and sorrow.

 

But now Chrollo was gone. Vanished like the caressing fingers of Spring, just like the gentle touch of his hand over the flesh of Kurapika´s cheek, and like those careless whispers of love that were uttered during the depths of the night.

 

They say time heals all wounds. But, would it?

 

 _We could have been so good together_  
_We could have lived this dance forever_  
_But no one's gonna dance with me_ _  
Please stay_

 

It was all he could do to abade his now broken heart for Kurapika realized that as much he wanted - no, wished - that he could roll back time and undo everything he had done wrong, there was simply no turning back. All he had left was his hope, and his faith that one sweet day, Chrollo would return to him. That he would walk through the door and hold Kurapika in those wonderful arms once again as they slowly moved to the beat of their own unique song.

 

Such a beautiful dream it was. The images flashed vividly through his mind and yet, Kurapika danced on, his body moving within a constant state of flux, as the tabard he wore that was the symbol of his people, flourished about him in near union to the flicker of the candles that surrounded him.

 

He would never stop. Never give up and never forget his dreams.

 

Despite the pain and resentment from all the mistakes he made, Kurapika relied only on his strength. For it was within that steeled conviction it left him believing Chrollo would return to him. Perhaps it was a fantasy, perhaps he was just being wistful, but it was that confidence which helped him to carry on.

 

 _And I'm never gonna dance again_  
_Guilty feet have got no rhythm_  
_Though it's easy to pretend_ _  
I know you're not a fool_

 

For now Kurapika would live on, staying within the embodiment of his own undying devotion, for all that mattered to him was one simple fact: he loved Chrollo, and had given every part of himself so long ago to the older man. Because of this, Kurapika would wait an eternity for  him to return, for he wanted no other.

 

He knew they were good together and would be perfect for one another.

 

It was in that very reasoning Kurapika now refused to ever let go.

 

 _Should've known better than to cheat a friend_  
_And waste the chance that I've been given_  
_So I'm never gonna dance again_ _  
The way I danced with you_

 

Yet, he would keep the prospect alive and live the illusion, even if such was only fleeting. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do if it meant bringing back what was now lost, because Kurapika wanted to make amends, and ask forgiveness. It was by own negligence alone that ultimately forced him to endure such a huge sacrifice and by that same token, he would do what it took to see that rectified.

 

But it was one thing he didn’t want to pay the price for because he had long since realized exactly what he had. Chrollo had given him everything and more. He felt the phantom like touch over his skin and the ghosting feel of lips to his own. It was so warm, so enticing, and Kurapika tilted his head back, closing his eyes as the wind dusted over his cheeks. It almost felt real.

 

You never know what you had until it’s gone.

 

_Now that you're gone_

_(Now that you're gone) What I did so wrong, so wrong_

_That you had to leave me alone_

 

So much was left unsaid, and there were countless times where Kurapika could have averted what had unfortunately, become the inevitable. Now he silently had wished he had realized so much sooner. All he had was his emptiness and the last dance that he had shared with Chrollo. For it was the one thing that tied him to the other and the very thing which he prayed would lead the older man back to him. He never had felt so alone like he was now.

 

_I can feel you upon me. The gentle caress of your hand in mine and the warmth of your body as we move. Your guidance in our perfect sway leaves me at your mercy, yet also in complete joy. The way you look at me, the tenderness in your eyes leaves so much to be said. Yet, I know. There is no need to speak._

 

_Stay with me Chrollo. Let the winds carry us, forge us, and bring us to the place we need to be._

 

_I never want this to end, you are all I need. Let me make known just what you mean to me, for without you I will never dance again._

 

_Not the way I danced with you._

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of the elements I used were to create a unique parallel to the canonverse and to show just how Kurapika is constantly perpetuating in his own negativity. 
> 
> I wanted to dig a little on his personality with this and show how things could be if he had truly realized what he was doing and actually decided to let go. Poor Kurapika, too caught up within himself. D:
> 
> I really hope you guys like this! 
> 
> Happy birthday, Piyo! Cheers!
> 
> You can follow me on Twitter and [Tumblr](http://jaded-child.tumblr.com/).


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